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You've asked a very good question here, and I've learned quite a bit from the research. My reply is rather long, so it may be best to print this out in order to review it at your own leisure. I do hope that this will be somewhat of a help to your inquiry.
Two immediate aids in the understanding of Ephesians 5:23-24 are (1) know to whom the book of Ephesians is written, and (2) always read passages of Scripture within their proper context.
Ephesians is written:
(Ephesians 1:-1-,-1) to the saints . . . and to the faithful in Christ Jesus:
The proper context, or entire thought, of Ephesians 5:23-24 is Ephesians 4:17-6:9.
Thus, non-Christians and/or those who unwittingly read Ephesians 5:23-24 out of context are likely to have a difficult time in understanding the submission of a wife to her husband. The subject can become rather deep, so I'll try to keep it as simple as possible. Let's begin with Ephesians 5:18 using "The Interlinear Bible":{*1}
(Ephesians 5:18-) And do not be drunk with wine,
Why not? Well, when under the influence, what does it lead to?
(Ephesians 5:-18-) in which is debauchery,
The Greek word translated as "debauchery" is "asotia." "Asotia" means "a dissolute, debauched, profligate manner of living;"{*2} i.e. lacking restraint in sensuality. (Looking these words up in a good dictionary will clarify your understanding of "asotia.") This isn't necessarily saying that alcohol is evil; in fact, see 1Timothy 5:23. Simply don't overdo it.
What are we to do instead of participating in "asotia"?
(Ephesians 5:-18) but be filled by the Spirit,
Why? Well, when under the influence of the Holy Spirit, what does it lead to? (Let's switch back to the KJV for the next few verses:)
(Ephesians 5:19-21) Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; (20) Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; (21) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Notice a five-fold (5 = "grace" or "God's goodness" in Biblical numerology{*3}) effect of being under the influence of the Spirit of God: "speaking," "singing," "making," "giving," and "submitting." Your key to understanding the wife's submission in vv.22-24 is knowing that vv.18-21 are not addressing womankind alone; submitting yourselves ONE TO ANOTHER (v.21) is a mutual and reciprocal process. How we as Christians, namely husbands and wives, are to submit to each other is drawn out in the following verses. Ladies first:
(Ephesians 5:22-) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
How?
(Ephesians 5:-22) as unto the Lord.
Do you see? A woman non-submissive to the Lord is not going to understand the aspect of submitting to her own husband. Likewise, any man not learned in the love that Christ has for the Church is not going to understand the aspect of HIS, the husband's, submission to his own wife (v.25).
Why should the wife submit?
(Ephesians 5:23-) For the husband is the head of the wife,
Why? Well, one of the more obvious reasons, in my opinion, is the simple nature of the genders. For example, let's say that a husband and wife are in bed and begin to hear noises which lead them into believing that their home is being burglarized. Who, much more often than not, is going to be the one to investigate? Naturally, the husband is. For he is the "protector"; in a sense, the "savior" of his wife and children. Hence:
(Ephesians 5:-23) even as Christ is the Head of the church: and [H]e is the Saviour of the body.
1Peter 3:7 seems to draw this out in a somewhat similar fashion:
(1Peter 3:7) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, AS UNTO THE WEAKER VESSEL, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (Emphasis mine.)
Are women weaker in moral stamina, strength of character, or mental capacity? Of course not. They are, for the most part, in sheer physical strength though. But this is nothing for the boys to gloat over; it's the natural order of things. Even within the animal kingdom, the dominate gender is often the male. There is nothing chauvinistic about the natural differences between masculine and feminine.
I really like the following two translations of 1Peter 3:7. Here it is according to "The Bible: James Moffatt Translation":
(1Peter 3:7) In the same way you husbands must be considerate in living with your wives, since they are the weaker sex; you must honour them as heirs equally with yourselves of the grace of Life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.{*4}
I hope you caught that. Husbands "must be considerate" and "must honour" their wives. (Are you beginning to sense the mutual, two-way street of submission?)
1Peter 3:7 according to the "Holy Bible from the Ancient Eastern Text" reads:
(1Peter 3:7) Likewise, you husbands, live with your wives with understanding, and hold them with tenderness like delicate vessels, because they also will inherit with you the gift of everlasting life; do this that you may not be hindered in your prayers.{*5}
I think that's beautiful!
We'll use "The Bible: James Moffatt Translation"{*6} for the remaining verses:
(Ephesians 5:24-) as the church is subject to Christ,
If a woman does not understand the submission of the Church to Christ, she's going to have a pretty difficult time with what follows:
(Ephesians 5:-24) so wives are to be subject to their husbands in every respect.
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