"Forgiveness"

(Luke 17.3-4) Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, 'I repent;' thou shalt forgive him."

(Luke 23.34-) Then said Jesus, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."

This brief study is an adaptation of an e-mail correspondence in regard to what it biblically means to forgive one who has wronged you, and the extent of personal treatment such forgiveness carries. The author entreats that his commentary hold no element in one's determination of the truth. As with all humanity, my sin, too, leaves me short of the glory of God. I conclude myself as Job, "Behold, I am vile". A fallen creature can hardly aspire to understand in totality, interpret with precision, and completely communicate the immeasurable breadth, length, depth, and height of the blessed Creator's word. Attainment of the purest Bible knowledge, understanding, and wisdom a human can hope for is solely by ever diligently seeking after God, not through the writings and commentaries and expositions of mortals, but through His only begotten Son Jesus, Whose "name is called The Word of God." My writings are imperfect, wholly inept, needless. Yet should it please the Holy Spirit to even faintly enlighten one through my efforts in His word of truth, then all credit and thanks must be directed and given to our Father in the heavens as I know and can know nothing apart from Him. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture is from the King James Version (KJV). May each of us benefit from this correspondence. - - - - - - -

"I was skimming your [no-longer-published] study on forgiveness and remembrance of sin in regards to the final judgement but it brought up a question. As Christians, we know the importance of forgiving others as we are also forgiven by our Lord. You gave the examples of these verses: "‘(Matthew 6.14-15) For _if_ ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But _if_ ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Emphasis mine; cf. Mark 11.25-26; see also Luke 6.37; compare Matthew 18.21-35 to Proverbs 21.13.)’ "I wonder if when you forgive someone, is it essential that you also forget their sin? I base this question off of the fact that God will blot out the transgressions of those who repent and seek His mercy. So if God's plan of ultimate forgiveness includes erasing the remembrance of sin, should our version likewise mirror that? Is it my responsibility to ignore the mistakes others have made in the past if they have truly repented? Also, can you forgive someone even if they are not sorry? Thanks for the insight."

You have asked some very good questions. I hope my answers will be of help to you, and I thank you for your patience in waiting for this reply.

"I wonder if when you forgive someone, is it essential that you also forget their sin?"

If by "essential" you mean that until we forgive and _literally_ forget we cannot receive God the Father's forgiveness for our own sins, then, no, I do not believe it is essential. I have found nothing in Scripture to indicate otherwise.

"if God's plan of ultimate forgiveness includes erasing the remembrance of sin, should our version likewise mirror that?"

To the best of our human ability, yes, I believe so; but I wish to qualify that statement. (Genesis 27.-41-45-) Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, "The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob." And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, "Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee. Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran; and tarry with him a few days, until thy brother's fury turn away; until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: Twenty years later: (Genesis 33.-1-,4) Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. . . . And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him: and they wept. Jacob had not forgotten his brother's intention to slay him (Genesis 32.3-23); surely neither had Esau forgotten his brother received the blessing recorded in Genesis 27.1-40. But after 20 long years, the hatred and fury and anger of Esau had turned away from Jacob. The issue between them had become water under the bridge, and, in this sense, all was forgotten, just as their mother had hoped (Genesis 27.45). Aside from the 20 years it took, I think this is a pretty good example of what it means to "forgive and forget." See also the moving record of Joseph and his brethren (Genesis 37.2-45.28). We must remember though, when God blots out our guilt of a sin upon repentance He does not necessarily prevent or halt or remove or reverse the consequences of that sin. For example, I, in lamentable ignorance, completely blinded by a situation, violated a certain family's trust a few years back. Having been brought to the realization of what I was actually doing and the offense it caused, I repented to and sought and prayed for forgiveness from every last member of this house. Today, as best I can tell, perhaps a third or half of the family has forgiven me. I am _so_ thankful to the LORD for their forgiveness, but even with these the relationship we now share is worlds apart from what it used to be, and I expect that (barring a miracle) things between us will never again in this life be the same. I have suffered no greater loss than this, but the consequences are just. Daily the consequences plague me, but I accept them. I am wholly to blame. Yes, my guilt of that sin has been blotted out in heaven, but that does not change the reality of what I did and the effect it has had on an earthly relationship (Proverbs 18.19). Some sins are easier than others for some to "forgive and forget," and every situation has its own unique set of circumstances and persons. In my particular case all I can do is continue to pray for forgiveness from and restoration with the whole of this family, and, whenever the LORD allows, associate with them in the love of Christ. Should we mirror every aspect of God's forgiveness? Absolutely. Is this humanly possible? Absolutely not without God (Matthew 19.26, Mark 9.23; 10.27; 14.36).

"Is it my responsibility to ignore the mistakes others have made in the past if they have truly repented?"

As servants of the Master Jesus it is our responsibility to yield minute by minute to the divine nature (2Peter 1.4) rather than to the sinful nature (Ephesians 2.3). This is ever so important when it comes to practicing Christian forgiveness. If one has truly repented of a thing his repentance will be made manifest by his behavior, by his works (Jonah 3.10, Matthew 3.7-9, Luke 3.7-8, Acts 26.20). If one continues to practice that from which he has supposedly repented, then he has not truly repented; for behind the New Testament verb "repent" is most often the Greek "metanoeo" which literally means to "perceive afterwards," i.e., to understand (not just to sense or feel) that what I did was wrong, and to have a genuine change of heart and life concerning it. Since one's behavior is determined ultimately by what he believes, repentance necessarily has to do with one's beliefs. It has to do with one's way of thinking. One's way of thinking about sin and what he believes about sin must first be changed before he can genuinely repent of sin. For this cause Scripture entreats: (Romans 12.2, Contemporary English Version) Don't be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him. (Romans 12.2, Good News Bible) Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God---what is good and pleasing to him and is perfect. (Romans 12.2, New Living Translation) Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. If one has truly repented of a thing, the believer is duty-bound to forgive him. Ofttimes though, even after having supposedly forgiven the person, we find ourselves carrying about a grudge to a degree or another. This is certainly human nature; but it is not Christian. The English verb "forgive" (and its inflections) in the New Testament is most often translated from the Greek verb "aphiemi." In its most literal sense "aphiemi" means to "send away from." The KJV also translates "aphiemi" as: "Leave" (Matthew 5.24), "sent . . . away" (Matthew 13.36), "Let . . . alone" (Matthew 15.14), "have omitted" (Matthew 23.23), "laying aside" (Mark 7.8), "let . . . go" (Mark 11.6), "put away" (1Corinthians 7.11), etc. With such renditions in mind, if we were to express an imperative "aphiemi" in conversational English we might say, "Just let it go and leave it alone." That is precisely what the Christian is to do when it comes to sin that has been sincerely repented of. Let it go. Leave it alone. Don't take it with you. And don't bring it up again. Omit it from conversation. With the guilt of the sinner now having been forgiven, you no longer hold him at fault or to blame; but the fallout of his sin remains. This usually involves injured affections or broken trust, two intangibles; neither of which are re-won overnight, if ever at all. As waters of time begin to trickle under the bridge they must be repelled from the seedbed of resentment and bitterness and redirected toward the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5.22-26). Should we harbor or begin to develop any sense of ill will, we ought at once question whether we have forgiven from the heart (Matthew 18.35) and whether we be yielded to the will of our God or to the wants of our flesh. (Yes, we sometimes actually _want_ to hate!) Bitterness, anger, evil speaking, malice -- all these are traits of "the old man", not of "the new" (Ephesians 4.20-32, Colossians 3.1-15).

"can you forgive someone even if they are not sorry?"

Yes (see Luke 23.34, Acts 7.60). But unless the Holy Spirit leads otherwise, I would not tell the person I have forgiven him (see Matthew 7.6). We can silently forgive the impenitent in that they simply do not know they are dying in their sins (Acts 3.17-18, 1Corinthians 2.6-8, 1Timothy 1.12-13; see also Matthew 5.43-48, Luke 6.27-29, Romans 12.9-21, 1Peter 3.8-15). _Our_ forgiveness, however, will not and cannot save them. These folk need to be brought to the threshold of eternal fire and to the threshold of amazing saving grace, and in that order. For until a person is brought face-to-face with (1) what sin is (Romans 7.7-12; cf. Exodus 20.2-6, Deuteronomy 5.7-10), (2) the fact that he is a sinner (Ecclesiastes 7.20, Romans 3.23, 1John 1.10), (3) the wrath that he presently is under (Deuteronomy 27.26, Jeremiah 11.3, Galatians 3.10-12; cf. John 3.36), and (4) the wrath that is to come (Malachi 4.1, Romans 1.18-2.11, Revelation 21.8), he is not even going to think he is in need of forgiveness. Grace and peace, Thomas John Dexter

Copyright © 2004 by Thomas John Dexter. All rights reserved. The matter of this work may be reproduced for distribution, but it is not to be sold. The matter of this work (with the exception of any Scripture or quote) is the sole production of the copyright proprietor and is subject to change as he grows in knowledge and wisdom concerning the Word of God.